Father’s Day is a great time for fathers and children to reflect on the bond they share. Father’s day is also a beautiful day to say thank you to father, appreciate and acknowledge their role – of shouldering responsibilities of family, career, finances, social & spiritual life.
Success for a father has no unanimous definition. It appears to be about how much physical, social and financial comfort a father can provide, but today emotional bond between them is the key. Whether toddler or teenager, a child wants quality time and energy of the father, apart from having all needs fulfilled. So the responsibility is on the father to establish and sustain a loving relationship. Let us explore how as a father, I should bond with my child.
The first phase is my pre-natal bond which begins when my child is in the mother’s womb. As a father, every thought I create for my child travels as vibrations, providing emotional nourishment. So I should radiate loving, comforting, welcoming thoughts. Conflict, anger, anxiety and other negative emotions should be avoided. I should not create thoughts of gender preference as my child catches it and feels unwanted if it is of the opposite gender.
Substance addictions for me and my wife is an absolute No. If I indulge in smoking or alcohol, I radiate vibrations of addiction to the child. Addiction not only depletes my emotional strength, it influences my child’s mind and body. I must refrain from this stage and stay away from it, for life.
The next phase is infancy or babyhood and is the finest time for me to seal a strong emotional connect. Participating in baby-care tasks is important, but more important is how I feel while playing with, talking to, carrying or calming my child – do I create thoughts of love and comfort? Or do I create irritation and hurry up to get back to other work? Doing the latter sends vibrations of rejection to my child.
During childhood years, my child’s behaviour may not be the way I think is right. I need patience, understanding that it is all age-appropriate. I should love yet discipline. Be firm but never angry or punish, as they radiate vibrations of rejection, depleting my child emotionally. My role is to first accept, then empower.
Children do not learn what they see, they absorb what is around them as vibrations. So values cannot be taught but when lived by parents every time, they become a part of the child’s personality. Honesty in simple acts like admitting to mistakes, paying taxes, paying fine if I broke traffic rules, and so on are essential. Respecting family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, domestic help, driver, cook or hospitality industry personnel is critical. My morals should flow in every situation with everyone, not just when my child is around.
Children share a deep connection with mothers. They naturally take a liking for anyone who treats the mother well. So how I take care of my wife creates a big influence on my relationship with my child. Of course, I must always respect my wife, not only for the sake of my child. In pre-teen or teen years my child deals with adolescence, peer pressure, media, expectations and competition. So I must continue giving acceptance, approval and appreciation so my child can share everything, trusting me to respond with stability rather than react out of impulsiveness. Only my calmness can open up a discussion where I can advice or guide.
Children are today exposed to an unsafe environment. To protect them, I should not simply care but connect, so that trust, respect and love grow. Our inner power, patience, compassion, love and joy reflect in them. If we lack them, they too will. By being aligned to the original nature of peace, love and joy, every father will raise an angel.
And try to make father’s day special, it will give power to father and child relationship.