Funny Quotes Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Funny Quotes My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Funny Quotes Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
Funny Quotes No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Funny Quotes Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Funny Quotes Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Funny Quotes Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
Funny Quotes A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Funny Quotes I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Funny Quotes Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.