The Key To Beautiful Relationships – Unconditional Love
We all live in a world where love is the most precious virtue or quality that exists and we are all souls full of love. Their are many different emotions we relate with love which we are going to discuss.
Love with Human and Nature (Plants and Animals)
It’s only when we lose access to our inner treasure of love that we starting expecting love from others and begin searching for it outside, from others. We even search from the physical world, which we commonly call flora and fauna. Flora refers to plants around us and fauna refers to animals. It is not wrong to love and be loved by humans and nature. That is not searching for love. Giving love to humans and animals and receiving love from them and also loving plants and nature in general, has existed in the world right from the time the world was a beautiful paradise. That paradise was full of happiness, love and purity. That world is also called the Garden of Eden or Garden of Allah or Swarg or commonly called the Golden Age or heaven.
Difference between Love and Happiness
There is a difference between receiving love and experiencing happiness because of that and searching for it from others.Also, when we make ourselves dependent on this love for remaining happy, it means there is an emptiness inside us. The love that makes us empty instead of filling us and giving us a feeling of fulfillment is a love based on a physical consciousness. On the other hand, a love based on soul consciousness is a love that does not attach itself to the other person so much, so as to bring about sorrow when it is not received or when the love is no longer available to us. This happens when the other person leaves us or stops talking to us or goes away or does not love us anymore for some reason or the other.
Love without expectations
Loving others without expectations is the love which never gives you any unhappiness at any cost. Loving with desires and fixed demands will make love like a business deal. You give me such and such an emotion or particular word or a certain type of action, which I like and I will give you back what you like. On the other hand, love which does not demand and also love which just exists without the requirement of any fixed conditions to be met is sometimes seen as a love which cannot exist. But it is the love which God is full of. By connecting with Him and seeing each human being as a loveful soul, who is my spiritual brother and a child of God, the ocean of unconditional love; I become a source of giving such a love to others. Also, such a vision for everyone in which love flows to the other person unconditionally because of our eternal relationship of spiritual brotherhood makes life very uncomplicated. In such a relationship you don’t feel tired or pressurized when love is not received and sometimes the other person does not return your love as much as you would like.
Love and Attachment
People have misunderstood the true meaning of the pure emotion of love and given it an impure form by mixing it with attachment, which always brings sorrow with it. Attachment filled love hurts. This is because it comes with many strings or bondages with it. That is why many relationships where attachment is the foundation, tend to break after the initial phase of the relationship is full of happiness and lots of promises. Very soon, people, because they are not perfect, are not able to reach upto the other person’s level of expectations. Also they are not able to adjust with the other person’s nature and way of thinking and working, whether it is in personal relationships or in professional ones. This is because love is a characteristic which is the key to making any relationship successful and here we are not talking only about relationships involving life partners.
Whenever you want to experience joy in a relationship, learn to love with a big heart. This is something we hear commonly, but what this means is loving without any fixed boundaries of how the other person should be with me. In other words, we tend to create so many fixed images in our mind of the other person’s consciousness, attitude, words and actions about how they should be, that we don’t let the other person be themselves. This happens to the extent that the other person will in some cases stop expressing themselves freely. Also sometimes their personality starts going into a cover which has been created by us and they will never come out of that cover for life in some cases. The meaning of that is simple that the other person becomes a puppet in our hands and he or she will do everything that we demand without ever thinking that they are no longer themselves. And who is responsible for that happening? We are. We create a person based on our personality. That’s in short a karma that we become responsible for. This is called a conditional love.
On the other hand, a love that is unconditional wants the other person, whom you love, to be themselves and a different person from them with their own personality, their own special strengths, skills and qualities. This happens in such a way that these qualities and skills complement your strengths and the two of you become a beautiful pair of people who keep each other ahead. Also, at the same time you focus on your own qualities and bring them into action. This is true love. Such a love, when brought into action becomes a beautiful foundation for a happiness filled relationship. In such a relationship, two people enjoy each other’s loveful company without interfering in each other’s personal space.
Loving God in the right manner is also an important aspect of our lives in which God is also just like all our other relationships, although a very important one. Playing a role of child or friend to God also requires certain ways of acting and creating thoughts of love for Him. E.g. To always ask more and more from God and not think of returning enough is also an incorrect way of being God’s close one. Also, changing oneself to become like God is being a true loved one of God. Qualities like love, happiness and contentment and even a clean heart and truthfulness make you worthy of receiving God’s beautiful sustenance and support when you are facing difficult situations in life’s journey. At these times, you need God’s help, without which you cannot come out of them.
Another important relationship with God is one of a teacher and a student, in which God helps us become full of divine qualities apart from spiritual knowledge of course. In this relationship, we need to realize the importance of the effort made by God as a Supreme Teacher. Also we need to realize how we should return all the energy and time that he spends on us in making us perfect human beings and lifting our spiritual intelligence to high levels. This is required to become pure and perform good actions. Another relationship with God which we sometimes forget to play is one in which God is like a child who takes care of us in different ways. He does this in return of all the care that we shower on Him and also all the respect we give Him because He is a like a constant spiritual power canopy on us. His eyes never stop looking upon us and protecting us from all the difficulties that we might face. Also, whenever you remember God as the Supreme guru, it means following all the directions that He gives. It also means having a stage of purity when coming into contact with others, which is a stage similar to God’s. This makes you worthy of His constant good wishes which keep you light and happy.
Sacrifice in any relationship is an important characteristic or quality that one needs to imbibe to make it successful. Remember the one who only keeps himself or herself ahead without caring for the needs of the other in a relationship is the one who loses respect. Also he or she is the one who can lead in the relationship with the head but is the loser, when it comes to the heart. The one who gives up the ego to accommodate the needs of the other is the true winner in a relationship of love, which could be relationships involving any two people and in any type of relationship. We are not necessarily talking about relationships between life partners, which some people think, are the most difficult relationship to play. So, wherever it may be, the one who says I in every dealing is the loser at the level of the heart. That means he or she will lose the blessings of the other, even though he or she may be smarter and more skilled than the other and the other person accepts that also. So respect is gained at the external level by the egoistic role player but love and respect is lost at the internal level.
You must have heard this some time ago that to fear is not to respect, which happens with egoistic people. Egoistic people are sometimes respected out of fear because they are more skilled in many ways and good at doing many things of the world and also good at making things work their way. But, what they are lacking is humility and the way of winning people’s hearts. Remember, there have been people in the world who have been more successful because they were compassionate and sweet natured. They are not necessarily best at the ways of the world and being skilled and the best at achieving success on a materialistic level. Humble people are true leaders of people’s hearts and God helps them to achieve big, because of this quality that they possess.
This is the last part of this detailed message series on how to live your relationships in the right manner and in this last part, we explain the method of becoming a good relationship manager. In other words, how do we manage our relationships in a manner that the other person in all our relationships is always full of love and blessings for us in his or her heart? Also we continue to experience that love from them in the form of good wishes which reach us in a way so as to fill us on a spiritual level.
Soul-consciousness is the way of living relationships spiritually. Spirituality teaches us that each and every human being in this world is a soul whose original qualities are peace, love and happiness. Also, each one is originally full of these qualities when they come down in the world to play their roles down in the physical world from the soul world up above. This initial stage of ours is called the soul-conscious stage, in which the soul’s qualities are like a fragrant flower. Also, everyone experiences these qualities from us, in all relationships. It’s when we started coming under the influence of negativity of different forms that the soul started losing its qualities and fragrance and it started looking outwards in need of these qualities. This is when the balance in relationships was spoil and we starting becoming dependent on others for our love and joy. It is like the famous story of the musk deer, who did not realize that the scent it was searching for was from its own navel. In the same manner as the musk deer, we lost the connection with our inner selves and the method of accessing peace, love and joy by becoming soul conscious. We started looking for it from our mother, our father, our child, our brother, our life partner, our friend etc.The right way of restoring the balance is completing the triangle of spirituality, by including God as the one whom I absorb peace, love and joy from. I also become soul-conscious and access these qualities inside myself and increase them. And then I share all these qualities with others, instead of expecting them to give me those qualities of peace, love and joy.